Two More Days!!

Holey Toledo! These past few days have been so busy, I've hardly had time to post! Or eat for that matter 😊 the bf and I have been hitting the gym twice a day for an hour at a time and eating very clean. My portions are just tiny lol I have been busting my ass today, moving around, and carrying heavy stuff without a break. Gotta love work! It's going to be a very very long day, and I'll hardly have and time to stop and eat. Oh well! Weigh day is Friday, so I've gotta be on my game and really work hard these next two days. How has everyone's week been going?
Xoxo Åurora

All Good Things Must Come to an End

Woooooooo hooooooooo! The fast is over! Did you all make it to the end? I broke my fast today with a whole grain pancake (80) I had been dying to have. For lunch, I had a huge salad (200) full of veggies and spinach and grilled chicken, and I'm buzzing from all of the healthy delicious calories in my body right now! I really wish I had a way to weigh in before I broke the fast, but I had to go to work. Oh well! I said I wasn't going to weigh in until Friday. My goal for this whole week is to stay under 800. I hope that weigh in on Friday shoes lots of progress 😊 How is everyone else doing?

Killin' It!

I just convinced my friend to workout with me and I'm really not sure how I pushed through that workout so hard. It is like 90* outside and I was dying! We sprinted up the stairs from the first to the 4th floor and walked fast down them then right back up again 8 times. Then we went at jumped and pulled ourselves over a 9 foot wall ten times and did rope climbs. I am exhausted, but so proud of the calorie burn. Time for a ton of water and a shower. Only 12 more hours to go!!!

Xoxo Åurora

Dancing in the Stars

I woke up this morning with my head in the clouds. Floating free. The ceramic tiles threatening to pull me down. The shadows hugging the corners of my vision in their empty embrace. I've got to remember to not stand up so quickly. On a happy note, the fast is still going strong. The lions in my belly have stopped roaring so loud, and this coffee feels like black magic. I can see my body starting to change already over these past two weeks. My stomach is sinking in. My thighs are looking tighter. My hip bones are starting to make their presence known. I probably won't be able to weigh myself until Friday, and I'm praying that I'm down in the low 130s. 

We are 36 hours in. 

Way past the half way point. 

No turning back now 😊

Xoxo Åurora

Unexpected Circumstances

What a day it has been! So let me say first off, we are 22 hours into the fast and still going strong 😊 unfortunately, my motivation to not eat was fueled by the stress and worry that accompany my bf ending up in the ER with some very worrying health issues. Prayers and support are much appreciated!  I'm going to just focus on him and keep pushing through this fast. How is everyone else doing?

Xoxo
Åurora

Emptiness is Such a Beautiful Thing

You know what I love most about the Weekend? Being able to sleep in late :) I'm already 10.5 hours into this fast and I don't  feel any sort of hunger. I'm about to drink a ton of water with zero calorie Mio Energy in it for a little caffeine boost. Then I'm going to spend the rest of the day super cleaning my place and hitting a hard circut workout later. What is your favorite way to distract yourself from food?

Xoxo Åurora

P.s. I promise to post a current pic after this so I can show my progress!

It's a Beautiful Morning!!

I can not even begin to tell you all what a relief it is to wake up and finally see the number going down on the scale. I really think my body was just fighting the restriction and holding onto everything it could, including water. I went to bed last night with the scale up at 139 😟 how the fuck did I gain 3 lbs while restricting ?? I was so so so frustrated, but then I woke up and the scale said 137.2!! I still feel super bloated, so I know the weight will just keep falling off the next few days. I'm going to be on call all weekend for work, so I won't be home around all the temptations for at least 3 days. I better be at 134 next time I weigh in!  My boyfriend is currently trying to lose weight and is on a cardio kick which is good news for me. That means more of a chance to work out and he will think my weight loss is just coming from the "healthy" changes I'll be making. I won't weigh in until at least Monday, and I hope to be very pleasantly surprised!!

Aha moment

So I weighed myself today after staring in the mirror and my disgusting bloated body. I've been keeping my calories around 900 everyday, and somehow, I've gained weight. IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!  Then I realized salt is probably the culprit! I've been putting it heavily on my raw veggies and having broth soups and stir fry. Even though my calories are so low, I'm holding on to a fuck ton of water. I was reading something that said you can hold and average of 3-5 lbs of excess water from high sodium intake 😯 so the next few days, I am going to hydrate, cut salts, and sweat it out to make sure it's just water. I'm terrified of the number I saw this morning. Any suggestions for cutting water weight?

Xoxo Åu

Is it just Me?

I'm sure my perception is distorted, but after 3 days of restricting  and working out pretty havy, and drinking so much water to get rid of bloating, I feel like my stomach looks awful and bloated and so fat . What gives? I hate even looking at my disgusting fat rolls when I sit down. I'm so gross. I really want to weigh myself right now, but I know I'm going to be very disappointed 😟 does anyone else ever feel this way?

1000 Calories a Day

Is it enough? Is it too much?
I have a job with very very high energy requirements, getting at least 1 hour of cardio and strength workouts every week day.
This doesn't include extra calories burned at work and my home workouts.
I want to drop weight as quickly as possible without getting shaky or passing out.
My goal is to hit 1000 calories a day. This will give me a deficit of at least 1300 a day, leading to 2.6 lbs lost per week.
This doesn't seem too drastic or unsafe, right?
Total weight loss goal for right now is 10 lbs, and reevaluate from there. That's only going to take me a month to get there!
 I have a feeling the weight will fall off much faster, because I am going to be pushing myself harder than I ever have before.

 I will not slip up. I will not quit.

 I will be empty and strong again
Xoxo Åurora

The Edge of Nothing

I am ready to return
To that special place
I once lived
Deep within myself
On the edge of nothing
Existing off hopes and dreams
Becoming less
Becoming more
One moment at a time
I will return

The Queen Returns to Her Throne

Disbelief...

That's the only way I can really describe my feelings at the moment

Disbelief that after 3 years, I'm back here again

Disbelief in all that has happened in that time

Disbelief in how disgusting my body has become

3 years ago, I decided that I had enough and I made a drastic change in the way I operated

I was empty

I was pure

I was in control

I was on top of the world

I was thin

Most of you probably don't remember me, but at one time, I was the queen of Ana. Thousands of people reading my words every day and pushing me further and further towards zero.

Then one day, I gave in. I quit. I chose to be normal, and for a while, I thought I was happy... Then I woke up from the nightmare.

I am back for good, ladies and gentlemen

Every day you will see less and less of me

I have a date with ana, and I cant can't be late
The time has come to don my crown and sit the throne once again